Good Day… The kind you “wink” after ;-)

I’ve had one of those really good days. The kind you wink after saying it was a good day. I had a good late night visitor though and it had me up at 4:55 am. I’m not sure I’ve ever been up that early. However, after being woken up the best way possible, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So what does one do when one can’t go back to sleep? They workout early, after another really good workout 🙂 .

I thought I was going to just pass out at some point today but I didn’t. I felt myself slowing down and then just had another cup of coffee. Then, after leaving work early I went to pick up groceries, came home, worked out some more and went out to a nice dinner. It’s around 11 now and I feel like I should be able to just pass out later. At some point in the day I even managed to wash the dishes.

This weekend is my brothers birthday so I plan on staying with him till Monday and enjoying the hell out of that two. We have three things that none of us have ever done before on the schedule so seriously excited about that. Plus I’m going to talk to my brother’s neighbor about the job opportunities that he’s been talking about for me.

So it’s been two really good days. It seems like I’m just that much closer to something different which I what I’ve been asking for for some time now and I’m excited about it. I’m so excited, in fact, that I brought boxes home today to pack. That might not be the best thing to look forward to but all I have to see at the end of the rainbow is the end game which is me, not here, not in this unhappy place.

It’s weird. I think that my birthday this year and the month before and month after made me realize a lot of things that I’d been wrestling with before. Plus, I started getting healthy for myself, for real this time. Then I started seeing someone casually who’s awesome, fun, and enjoys my insatiability.

Things still feel slightly weird though because I’ve spent the last three years thinking about a completely different future, one which I finally realized it was nothing to hold on to and it was hurting me more than anything else. This time when I said I was done, I really meant it and it actually feels good.

I have my Sunday’s back from being miserable and lonely. I have someone that loves to be with me in any capacity and I don’t worry anymore that I’m being used by a “friend”. I feel good. I feel like my badass self, like I used to feel years ago.

I know this is still a new, old feeling, and it might not stay for long periods of time but I’m eating healthy, I’m working out and I quit smoking. I did all that for me. I know I keep saying the same thing but keep in mind that I’ve been up since 4:55 and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me.

The quote from Tiny Buddha Site that resonated with me today was, “When you let go you create space for something better”. I like that. That makes things seem less like a scary, “your hearts broken” emptiness rather a moment that you’ve given yourself to allow the greatness in that you didn’t have room for before.

So that’s my rambling tonight. It’s a good night’s rambling and a good night. I have about another hour to keep myself awake before I can pass out and give gratitude for what I have right now in this very moment which is peace. I hope you have the same.

raw

Better days, for no reason at all…

Good morning. Yesterday started the “fit for fall” challenge which is also a challenge for charity. Basically you have to commit to a minimum of 2 miles a day or 100 miles in an eight week period plus do these other mini daily challenges. It’s the one thing I’m looking forward to lately for no other reason that it gives me something productive to do.

Yesterday I started off with a 2.73 mile walk/jog, healthy eating all day and ended with an ad/arm challenge. This was actually really fun. When I really get into these I usually walk/jog about 3/4 miles at a time so I might up the challenge to the 150 miles in 8 weeks. Either way I’m excited and even though the prescription drug messed me up, I was still able to lose 12 lbs on it. Probably not the healthiest way but still. If you’re interested it’s all over the insta-face-twit world, which I’ve started all new accounts for, except the facebook. Have I mentioned that I HATE facebook?

Anyway, go look up @toneitup #tiuteam #charitychallenge #100forcharity. It’s a great cause where, for each mile you walk, run, bike or whatever you can actually have money earned and sent to a charity of your choice using the app Charity Miles. Don’t worry, I’m not making any money off any of that but I do think that it’s a great cause so you should do it, especially if you’re active anyway… What’s the harm.

That is what I’ll be focused on for the next 8 weeks. Hopefully it will become less of a distraction than just a drive to fulfill my need for a healthier me. I say to hell with the negative and shitty. At least for a while. I think I’ll try to add some things to that 8 week challenge list like, be grateful everyday, read everyday, go to church, become a superhero… I don’t know just something fun.

I do need a new workout playlist though so any suggestions on so high energy, pumped up workout music is much appreciated.

Hope you are having an awesome day. 🙂 Be grateful for something unexpected today.

Being-Grateful