I’m sure, by now, that you’ve heard about the moon tomorrow. Things are about to change. Everything is about to change or so some would have the world believing. I’m all about the full moon and how it effects people and situations. Plus, it’s a great way to recharge your energy.
I tend to do two things that recharge my energy. I try to sit under the full moon or/and I got to the beach. I tend to like to do both those things by myself but this week I went with my friend (my co-workers wife). It brought all kinds of drama up from her family and in-laws because, it appears, that everyone is crazy. I used to think I was the crazy one.
Here’s the weird thing about this girl and my’s friendship. It’s happened quickly and we both feel like we’re sisters. We actually look a like as well. We both have long blonde hair, green eyes but that’s about where things stop. Technically we’ve only been spending time together since March, so it’s not even been five months.
I’m bringing this up because her husband, my co-worker, basically asked me if she could stay here all week because he’s refinishing some counter tops and the smell in the house is terrible. I said sure. But I’ve been going about my normal routine of going out, my drives listening to music and seeing friends. Sometimes she’s come with me and sometimes she just stays on my couch and watches chick flicks. It’s basically like we’re already roommates. Since I’ve lived alone for such a long time it’s nice to have someone here.
But also, and I just realized this, but I’ve not had THE friend here but twice I think since October. You know what? I’m ok with that. The quick note on that ,to at least have closure, is that the last time we did see each other I realized a few things. First, we actually spoke… the entire time. Well he did for the most part. He told me about his life right now and how much it’s changed and how much he’s doing. He’s got a girlfriend which is a good influence on him. He’s doing really well.
I sat there and listened to him talk about his life and was so happy for him. I think that the hurricane changed both our lives but one thing it made ME realize is that I wasn’t helping him. I might have given him some joy in the beginning of our friendship but after a while I was just a dock for him to anchor his boat at and hide from the world. Toward the end of our friendship it became clear that it was masochistic for both of us. I have always wished for the best for him and I think he’s getting that now and I’m glad that I stopped wanting to hang out or texting back. We had a great “last talk” and I didn’t know it would be our last talk when it happened but now realize that we’re good and both in a much happier place. I never wanted to end up hating him and I don’t.
I took so much pain from the relationship that I, honestly think, stopped being “in love” with him a long time ago but never realized this. I was just… lonely or craving a relationship and held on to that so tight thinking that I’d never be that comfortable with another man. Well, that’s not what happened.
Since moving back here in October I have met the most interesting guys and started some really amazing relationships. I’m having fun. The back of my mind I will always be looking for a new relationship. I’ve put out into the universe that I’m ready for “the next big thing”. I’m setting my intentions for the full moon and will enjoy whatever comes. I’m excited.
A year ago, I’d forgotten to remember how beautiful things could be. I’d forgotten to remember how fun things could be. I’d forgotten to remember how happy I could be the moment that I released my attachment to things, people and situations. You CAN’T control everything but you CAN control how you feel about things. I’ve stopped having expectations. I’ve stopped dwelling. I am not perfect and am always trying to get to the next big step in my life but am enjoying the moments more. I stopped being mad at the universe for not giving me what I thought I was supposed to have which was a family, 2.5 kids and a dog in a white picket fence. That’s never been me. I’m not THAT girl.
What I’ve noticed since all those things above happened? I’ve been told that I’m beautiful and fun and crazy and smart and amazing and sweet and different and special and my energy is contagious and that I even look like Kristen Bell, Carrie Underwood and some chick I’ve never heard of before. But my point is people have said those things to me before but I was never in a place to truly believe those things before.
My life is weird and strange and I’ve said all that before and I’m ok with it. It’s different. I’m different. It’s beautiful and so am I.
My words to you today are these: Go outside tonight or tomorrow night and drink in the moon light. Drink in the power and energy. Throw out the negative and breath in the positive.
That is all for now. xxx