First, I must state that I’m much more tipsy than I realized about an hour ago. I’m not sure what that will lead to on here. But it’s nice to know that even tipsy, I still got my run in. I came in immediately from the movie, while taking the pants off at the door and put on my workout clothes, then proceeded to workout. I got my steps in so ha!
THE friend and I went to see Deadpool and have dinner tonight, as you already know by the title it wasn’t a date night and don’t worry not every event that we share together has to be some monumentally emotional roller-coaster for me either. I will mention these two things though and then move on. Sometimes, I hate that he knows me like he does and I try NOT to acknowledge that he does. The first instance was when we were in the movie before it started and he asked if I was cold and assuming he was about to chunk his jacket at me, I said no but I was freezing. He knows I’m always cold. Second, withthe “Are you ok to get home?” Of course I said yes. What the hell would he have done anyway? But I realized that maybe I hadn’t eaten enough during the movie.
Those may seem like little trivial insignificant details; however, they are not. Because every once in a while I realize that he pays attention, sometimes. Trust me, we still have our battles of some things that are small and some that are huge but at least we’re working on them better?! I guess, now that I’ve said that there is sure to be a slip up at my expense. I usually curse things where I say something nice.
Okay, so moving on from that. While I was waiting for him prior to the movie my ex was texting me weird things. Yes, I still talk to him but not nearly as much as he talks to me. Some conversations are a week of him texting randomly and me responding when I have nothing else to do or when THE friend is on his phone. But tonight he was going off about going to bed early and missing someone sleeping next to him. As much as he is someone pretty to cuddle up to I knew where he was trying to go with this so I just changed the conversation. He’d ended up saying that he was renting a beach house for a week and wanted me to go with him. How many times can you tell someone you’re not interested and make it clear? THE friend told me that he wasn’t and I’ve understood since day one but no… This ex just keeps expecting something that I’m have no desire to give him. Again, this is my karma.
On to the movie. I am a fan of Ryan Reynolds because of his comedic delivery. His sarcasm would probably be enough to give me an orgasm. So, I wanted to go see this because of him and because there were NOT supposed to be any romantic undertones. So I as wrong. Again. I’ve stated my dislike for romantic movies in the past and my reasons are because they fill girls and women with false senses of what things are really like. I mean seriously, what do you think really happens after, “And they lived happily ever after.” The rest of that is, “Until there was no passion left to argue and the princess cheats because her husband is boring and the prince lets his mother run his life too much so they divorce and they’re both on their third marriage.”
So you understand my point. There is no such thing as a “Happily ever after” because nothing is perfect and who wants to live up to those standards anyway. Who wants to live in the normalcy that fairy tales create with the man saving the woman and then, soon after they have a bouncing baby college fund. But in all honesty the other reason I don’t like romantic movies is because they make me miss being in a relationship. I miss the cuddling and the sexual exploration when you’re comfortable enough with someone to tell them what you like and vice versa. And again, when it was there for the taking, I didn’t take it because I wasn’t there yet.
Dealpool was not a classic romantic movie but he gets the girl in the end and she gets her man. So if my life was a romantic comedy then I guess my ex would get me, I’d get THE friend and THE friend would get whoever his Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday or Saturday girl is. Well now, there’s no room for a happily ever after there then for anyone.
Yes, I suppose in some twisted sense of fate I can always bring anything back to THE friend and I. Do they still lobotomize patience? Just curious. I mean it wouldn’t be the worst thing for me to try. I have literally tried everything else to get to the same place that THE friend is with me, with him. I’ve prayed so many times, “Dear God, please make my feelings for “insert name here” be the same as what his are for me (or lack thereof)”. Nothing, nothing has worked. Twisted bitchy fate, I suppose. Maybe I should ask what the Friday and Saturday girls do to get their prime spot?
I wonder if I’ll come back tomorrow and read this with a totally sober mind and just say, “WTF, again? SHUT UP!” Can I unsubscribe to myself? I have no idea. Anyway, it’s off to watch the X-Files finale and then to bed. I hope you are all having a great week and remember to do the little things and be grateful for the little things that someone does for you. 🙂