I couldn’t have had a better weekend. It felt long but so much fun. Now that it’s Thursday I don’t feel like a useless human because I didn’t do anything. I told you, my life has little balance in it but this weekend I was totally ok with that.
Friday, after work, I decided to have a low-key evening and go to the gym. I ended up being there for almost 2 hours which for the weeks total for working out was over 12 hours. After the gym I came home, cooked dinner and then left again around midnight to go hang out at a friends for a couple hours. That’s another story I’ll tell later.
Saturday I woke up late, went and worked out then came home and chilled till I started to get ready to go out with an old friend. I went to meet her, we went to dinner then we went to a dive bar and just talked. She’s one of my oldest friends (which seemed to be the theme of the weekend) and I hadn’t seen her for months. I had told her about things going on in my life and around me and she seemed a bit perturbed that I hadn’t reached out before then and let her know any of it.
I can still picture her face as we’re sitting having dinner and I’m going into all the craziness and I can understand that it’s frustrating to be my friend. I don’t intend to keep “secrets” (unless they’re someone else’s) but it just happens that way. She was pretty upset about me not telling her about my Dad and my boss’s son but I didn’t NOT tell her intentionally. Plus it was a crazy time. I wasn’t thinking, “Oh who can I reach out to and let know”. That just seems like attempting to grab attention from people which I don’t like to do. If someone texted or called me or someone else told them and they asked me that’s pretty much how others were finding out. Regardless, it’s a flaw I have an I should work on it. I get that.
It was a fun night though. She and I have had this tradition for years of going out to this particular dive bar and having drinks while chatting and people watching. It was fun. But I realized that I’ve become one of “those” ex-cigarette smokers that thinks the smell is just disgusting and can’t believe that I did it for years. It has officially been 2 years 167 days 15 hours and 35 minutes since I’ve picked up a cigarette and would never consider it again. (Yes, there’s an app for that).
Sunday though, Sunday was so much fun! I went to go see another old friend of mine who lives about 45 minutes west of me and it’s basically country living. He’s got three kids. One who’s 16, another which is 3ish and the last which is 1.5ish. He and I don’t hang out much and we really don’t text much either but I just had this feeling that I wanted to go see him. We’d planned it Friday and he said he was going to barbecue but I didn’t want to go empty handed.
When his 16 year old was about 5 or so we had a water gun fight with her and we rivaled the kids. I had decided to do the same this time. P.S. The dollar store rocks! I went and picked up bubbles, balls and water guns. When I got to his place I was greeted by his wife, two young kids, his older kid and his nephew.
Since he and I grew up together I was close with his family. He is one of three brothers. One of those brothers I was much closer to than the other. He was/is the quintessential blonde hair, blue eyed football quarterback that all the girls went crazy over. I, however, had a brother/sister relationship with him. We joked with each other so much. This was a much better relationship than pining over him for any reason. But he also has three kids. I’d met the older 2 years ago but never met his youngest which is about to go into 7 grade. Instantly that kid and I got along and had some great conversations about music. He’s a really smart kid and somewhere in between the quintessential jock and a struggling musician.
So the house was full with seven people, loud music and many many dogs. At first sight it might have been misconstrued as chaotic but it was just fun and awesome. Before my friends 16 year old daughter and nephew left we’d decided to bust out the water guns and fire at my friend so five of us (all but the baby) doused him with as much as the dollar store water guns would hold until he retaliated by shaking his beer and dousing all of us with whatever beer he had. It was a good time.
All last week and this week though I’ve been making working out such a huge priority like never before. Last week alone I worked out over 12 hours. I seriously don’t know why I ever stop. The part that I have trouble with is keeping a dating life while I’m working out all the time. So, after my awesome weekend my week has been pretty boring. I’ve been working all day, going to work out at night. Going to the grocery store on the way home. Cooking, showering, watching as little TV as possible then bed to wake up and do it all over again. I guess you could say that my dating life is non-existent.
I was, however, looking forward to a “friend” of mine coming home soon but my excitement has lessened on that a lot. I’m just not interested in getting into these “going no where” relationships anymore. I’m not looking for a FWB, a booty call or a short term anything. It just doesn’t appeal to me any longer. Doesn’t mean I’m not as horny as hell but I’ll deal with it. Maybe that’s why I’m taking my frustration out at the gym.
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for anymore. Just when I think I find it, it’s gone or I’m no longer interested. I’ve said this before but I HATE dating. This next statement will prove how right I am. So usually when I’m at the gym I have my “workout” mix playing loudly in my ears and I zone out on everyone else but the other day my headphones died and I was forced to listen to these 30’somethings in front of me on the elliptical. Their conversations were horrible. They were talking about how much money a guy makes, what his job is, his penis size and very loudly too. Apparently they don’t date any man that doesn’t at least make over $100,000 a year, drives a nice car and has a huge penis.
So these girls meet someone on Tinder then they blab to all their girl friends if he fits that criteria. Guys have enough to worry about now they have to worry that if they don’t fit in these boxes that they’ll be ridiculed. Are you kidding me? We, as humans, all have enough of our own insecurities why would you try to make some else feel like crap about their life choices. I have always never cared about any of that. First, if they have a job that can support themselves that’s all they need. I don’t need someone to “take care” of me. I have my own job and money. Second, if they have a car that works too. I don’t care what kind it is or how much it costs. Lastly, penis size doesn’t make a man. I’ve known guys that were endowed and didn’t know what the fuck to do with it while I’ve know guys that are average and perfectly capably of rocking my world… None of these things matter and certainly not when you’re trying to find a partner for life.
What I want in a man is an appreciation of music, respect, love and understanding. I don’t need to be with them all the time. I don’t need flowers and expensive dinners. I need to be joked with. I need us to laugh together. Explore life together. Make each others lives better and not have judgement for the other. I don’t need the toilet seat put down. I don’t need you to pull my chair out. I don’t need texts all day long. I need a shoulder massage. I need to cuddle on the couch and watch some stupid mindless show that I don’t care about and feel comfortable. It’s the little things that a man does that I notice not those other stupid things.
Anyway, now that I’m done with my diatribe of dating I can go back to the purpose of this post which was to inform you about my awesome weekend just before the next weekend starts. What are my plans so far? I have a nice dinner planned with friends tomorrow, a lot of gym time and who knows what else. I’d really really like to go to the beach and I might go come Sunday without anyone else to distract me. We’ll see.
So that’s my life right now. Hope yours is amazing and beautiful! xXx