Is chivalry dead or just hiding…?

A couple weeks ago, during the whole holiday hustle, I got to see an old boyfriend that I hadn’t seen in quite a while. Our relationship quickly fizzled years back but it was important to stay friends with him for some reason. I never really understood what that reason was until a couple weeks ago.

I’ll start off by saying that I am a strong independent woman. There has never been much that I’ve needed from anyone else. It’s both a fault and a strength. That being said though I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a man stand up for me. Knowing my history, you’ll understand that I never got that growing up and therefore grew up not needing it. I had boyfriends and male friends in the past want to “right the wrongs” in my past for me and in turn that would have “wronged the rights” in my opinion. The way I looked at my past is that it was mine to fix and mine alone. But most of that is for another night.

This story starts when my friend and I went out to a local bar. This would be the same establishment that I take most of my close friends to. We’d been there slowly sipping for about an hour and a half when, in rare form at this place, a fight broke out. First, without any sort of hesitation, my friend jumped up from across the table and moved me out of harms way. This was instinct for him. After a few moments of him making sure I wasn’t hurt, even though one of the neanderthals had managed to tap me on the back of the head with their elbow, my friend went and broke up the fight.

At that point the owner of the place came over, because we know each other, and had made sure I was ok as well. The owner then turned around to assess the damage which amounted to a few chairs misplaced and a drink or two spilled. My friend was talking to both the guys and separating them with his palmed arms stretched as much as he could.

I can’t say this entire incident had fazed me that much. It was an initial shock of the loud noise but the fighting was acknowledged as two drunk idiots ranting about something. What did shock me is that after my friend was done speaking with them, then the owner had decided to kick them both out, they were both directed to me to offer an apology.

That’s the point that I remembered why I needed him in my life AND why I was initially sexually attracted to him. He’s a strong man, in stature and strength but he uses his head first. Whatever he’d said to those guys was enough to get them to stop fighting and to apologize for not only smacking me on the back of the head but for also interrupting our evening. I don’t remember the last time a man was that concerned with my safety or my well being.

To be fair it’s not as if I’d opening admit that I needed a man’s help on something but he never cared what I was willing to admit. He just knew. That’s why we stay friends to this day. Aside from him, there’s mainly two types of men that I know, that we all know. They would be either the ones to jump into the fight or to run from the entire situation. He’s a rare breed. He was never required to fight for my honor but the fact that he chose to says more about his character than anything.

At the end of our evening together I kissed him. I kissed him with no intent or expectation but only to say “Thank you”. At the end of our evening together he kissed me back with no intent or expectation but only to say “You’re welcome”. I guess my assessment is that chivalry isn’t dead but it is hiding. A girl might not need a white knight but that’s not to say she doesn’t want one.

Tonight I am grateful for chivalrous men that actually care to make the right decisions with someone else in mind other than themselves. Far too many people are far too selfish these days, I am grateful for the ones that aren’t.

a-real-man-love-quotes

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