Today is another stressful one…

From the moment I woke up slowly and got ready even slower I knew that today would be one of those days that would drag on. On those days there’s not a whole lot that can be done. When I did have a bit of down time I looked for another place to live.

I searched through townhomes, duplexes and small homes because, lets face it, there’s only one of me and I don’t need a lot of room. Then on a whim I started to look in other areas, then out of town, then other states. The appeal of staying here is less and less each day. Yes, granted, life is stressing me out right now and most of that has to do with work but I don’t really have anything to look forward to right now.

I don’t have any big plans, great relationships or surprises on the horizon. So maybe it is a time for new scenery? You know, one of these days I’m going to say that then actually do it. Once I stopped the “wishful thinking” about a relationship that was never going to happen it turns out that it just makes me focus on how completely stagnant I’ve become. Turns out that NOT thinking about “him” or the L word actually frees up a lot of time which now I don’t know what to do with myself.

I find myself looking up classes I can take, cooking, dancing, fitness or books I can read… I mean has anyone actually made it through War and Peace? When I’m in a decent dating relationship I don’t actually think about changing up my scenery so much. Maybe that’s what I need. The last time that I had a decent night out, with a decent guy that ended with a decent kiss was way too long ago.

I ended up blocking the mechanics number because he was just getting annoying which sucks because he’s a great mechanic. The ex is so far gone it’s unbelievable. Apparently it’s never a good thing to reply to “But I love you” with “Thank you”. Look, I’d say it in return when I truly meant it… Why actually say it if you don’t but I do long to hear those words, unlike before when they’d just freak me out.

You know what I really miss though? I miss a great date night, followed by a great night of sex, followed by breakfast in bed. I don’t even need fancy. I could do a drive-in movie, a cheap meal and pancakes… I’m not that picky.

My out-of-state friend even tried to set me up with a friend of his the other day after we’d been talking for a while. Apparently all these people around me have all these great men they want to set me up with right now but trust me when I say looking good on paper is usually never the case in real life. I will just continue to put my thoughts and energy into my amethyst and whoever comes along… Well, we’ll just have to see.

Those are my dating, fleeting, rambling thoughts tonight while I’m still in pain and already looking forward to Friday. Hope you’re all having a great week.


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