June Challenge Day 11

My weekend is… different. Such strange conversations. Tonight there was a great conversation about what sexy means to each of us. Some answers were generic and some where a bit weird. I’m sure mine were somewhere in between. Some of these will be regurgitated from previous posts but some might be new. The ones I shared were these…
While a man with confidence is sexy so is a man who shows vulnerability and admits weakness.
The view of his forearm pinned me down.
The hug from behind with his breath on my neck.
Putting a blanket on me when I’m cold.
Repeating something I’ve said a while back that I never intended that person to remember.
Having a great nickname for me.
Looking me directly in the eyes without flinching or looking away.
Looking out for my safety in any way.
Swiping a lone eyelash from my cheek.
Being in control.
Reading to me.
Putting them so close to me that I have to touch them.

Okay, so maybe they’re not all generic things but just the things I’ve noticed lately. All this came about because I met a guy the other day. It was because of work and I didn’t want to be there but we’d started talked and he was really nice, a Marine, going to grad school and was just down here for the night dropping so stuff off. He was attractive, well spoken, didn’t come across as immature or egocentric. After the work task was done he’d asked if I wanted to go for drinks. I said sure since it was already late and my evening was screwed up anyway.

We went to this local bar that I’ve taken so many friends to just because it’s classy and not a total shit hole. We talked about a lot of different things and I enjoyed his company but the entire time I was just thinking “He doesn’t do this” or “He doesn’t do that”. The only thing that I really found attractive was the fact that even though his phone had gone off about 20 times he never once looked at it. Aside from that I just didn’t see any spark, there was no “Oh I wish this guy would touch me!” And considering I’ve been at an all time high as far as my “excited level” I thought that was telling. As we were leaving he’d asked about a hotel that he could stay at around where we were. He’d said it in such a way that he was almost asking if he could stay at my place. I just pointed him in the direction of the closest hotel and left things at that.

The next morning, assuming I’d never see this guy again, he came knocking on the back door at work because he’d forgotten to drop off some stuff. He laughed because I was in full professional clothes the day before for a meeting but that next day I was in a t-shirt, shredded jeans and converse shoes. He said he liked the day two outfit most. I laughed in my, “Oh my God, go away laugh”. That was that.

I’ve had the opportunity to “take care” of certain needs that I have a lot lately but keep turning the invitations down. I’m done with the FWBs and the instant gratifications because that’s not what I want. I find it immature and pointless. If it’s not going to lead to something better then what’s the point. Course, with that being said, it’s been way too long. I can’t believe I haven’t spontaneously combusted at this point. I think anyway, after the age of 29, that still has random, one-night stand sex is pretty immature and just giving it away for no reason. That would probably make my sexy list too, if a guy was to say that they’ve been celibate for a while. It’s too easy to get laid… The hard part is to say no. Who wants some slutty dude anyway?

Those are my thoughts and conversations for the day and now we’re on to my challenges…

1. Exercise – Yes.

2. Water – Yes, like a fish.

3. Love Yourself Challenge – Write about the place you would go right now, if you could go anywhere in the world: I went to Hawaii as a kid and remember the feeling of it being very relaxed there. I think I’d go there right now.

4. 30 Days of Gratitude – What holiday are you grateful for? I guess Christmas and not because of the presents. It’s the one time of year that I get to see people I have seen in a while, my niece, my BFF. I also liked the last few that I got to spend time with THE friend on Christmas (except for last year). But it’s a day that is supposed to mean spending it with people that you care about and while him spending it with me was insignificant to him, to me it meant a lot. I was happy to be that person for him for that day. Who the hell knows what this year will have in store?

5. 30 Day Challenge – Name five of your weakness:
Hmmm, only five?
I am emotionally “challenged”
I go in my head way too much.
I don’t pay attention when I should.
I don’t have patience at all.
And, apparently, I fall in love with the wrong men, or man. The is a weakness right?

So there you have it… My day in words. Hope you’re having a nice weekend.

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