Making myself better challenge… Day 23 (Tuesday)

1. One good thing: I’m realizing just how awesome thing new company is going to be that I work with and no longer for.

2. Spending: No spending on useless things today.

3. Exercise: Yes, a collective 57 minutes.

4. Eat healthy: Yes.

5. Routine: nope. Yes.

Today may have seemed boring and it seems that I’m in a hormonal state which makes me want to cry but it was actually a good day. One thing I didn’t talk about yesterday is that before I even got to work on Monday my ‘other’ boss (who won’t be as of June 1st) sent me a long text apology. This is where I become cynical.

You see, I immediately assumed that his texted apology was because Ramadan was starting soon and it was more of a forced ‘I’m sorry’ rather than something deeply embedded as truthful apology. This brought up a lot of conversations about it.

My belief is that an apology not be forced. I feel like if you’re doing it out of some religious obligation or a twelve step something then it means less. I understand for some people an apology is one of the hardest things they can muster up and most times it’s followed by a reason for it. Those are not the wants that I want. I want the apologies that come with no caveats, no special circumstances.

I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t matter that much but for me there’s a difference. Regardless, I told him that I accepted his apology and shared some raw truth with him as well. Since we’re being honest I might as well explain why I think he’s a dick. Which is he. However, I did offer to help his with things after he leaves the company. So I guess I’m not entirely a heartless bitch, just mostly.

I’m already looking forward to a three day weekend. The idea of waking up Monday without the dread of “Oh shit, I have to go to work” is so nice. I’ve literally been working since I was twelve. I’m tired. I haven’t taken a real serious vacation in years. My weekend excursions to see family DO NOT count. Trust me when I say that going to see my family is just as stressful as work most of the time.

In all honestly thought, I think I’d rather save up some money and move my stuff into my parents guest house and go build homes or irrigation systems in some far off land where the people appreciate the little things in life. At least I have this new company to look forward to though.

My role in it is much of the same except it will just be three people doing what we’ve always done except better. We’ll be more efficient, more reliable and more relate-able to the general public. That’s one thing that I’ve always like is my customers and no it’s not because they treat me well and give me things. It’s because (and don’t go spreading this around) but because I care. I’ll still get to care but in an environment that doesn’t suck the life out of me.

To be locked in a prison with commercial grade strip lights for 40+ hours a week has never been a dream of mine. But what will be left is three people, a new outlook and some sort of comical “The Office” type sarcasm. I’m not sure what the next step in life has planned for me but right now I’m happy and also realizing that yet another one of the “predictions” has come true. How can they be so right about 99% of things yet wrong about the 1% of things that actually makes me the happiest.

Anyway, good day today. Hope you’re having a great week.

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