My initial disclaimer is that I have been drinking and on an empty stomach tonight. This was not my intention BUT I did have someone’s best interests in mind when I agreed to this. To fully understand this post you’ll need to be re-directed to another one… The Tale of Two Men… Basically this was the talk with my boss about the girlfriend that made him cry. Well, tonight (It’s actually 2:30 in the morning so I guess yesterday) was the day I met with the girlfriend.
Let me back track a bit. I’ve had very few exceptionally close friendships with females. I know, it’s shocking that my energy gravitates toward male energy for some reason but I encounter lots of females that want to be friends and I’ll do the friendly thing for a while but I know that there is only a certain type of energy that I can tolerate for long. I still have a female neighbor from ten years ago that calls only to receive my voicemail for years now. But with all that said, I wasn’t looking forward to tonight because I had a different image of who my boss’s girlfriend was. He has a tendency to paint people entirely different to serve his needs. I actually kind of looked at it as a “work job”.
Truth is, I actually enjoyed myself. We had a great conversation and there were things that came up from her that she’d never told anyone. I could tell that she’s never really had a real and true decent female friend in her life. So she talked mostly and I listened. Sometimes that’s all you have to do is listen to someone who feels taken for granted. But soon, the conversation moved quickly to the point as to why I was there. She assumed it was because I just wanted to have a drink and I knew it was more about some sort of therapy.
This part the drinking helped with a lot. She’d asked about my opinion and since my opinion has a lot to do with my situation with THE friend this meant I had to open up a lot but yet still being reserved. I started to share my story, explaining that not only did I understand her issues with my boss because he’s an asshole but also because THE friend is so much like him and we go through “shit” that’s similar.
She kept asking questions like “Does he do this?” My response, “Yes!”. This continued for about an hour. Her asking and me admitting to her and to myself that those two were so alike. Finally, and I knew it was coming, she asked the biggest question… “So why do you keep doing it? Why do you stay?” By this time I was really feeling the alcohol. I looked at her, in a completely sobering yet perplexing manner and said…
“Because I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”
Yep, that part made her tear. I did not do that on purpose and I didn’t do that to illicit any sort of reaction. It was the most honest and truthful answer that I felt, in my heart, at that moment. I realized in that very moment that this is what it all boils down to with THE friend and me and with my boss and his girlfriend. Difference is obviously those two are probably going to be together as a couple forever now. We, however, are not in the same boat. But still I had a very clear sober drunk moment, if that makes sense.
We talked about a whole lot more than just those two but I realized that information can be used for good or evil. Secrets can be used to good or evil. I could have sat their and probably convinced her (with my vast knowledge) to not leave, to not move away but I knew that it’s probably the best thing for her. At this point she needs time to breath and to live on her own for a while and to let him fix himself. When he’s ready to give up some control and when he’s shown he can grow I think she’ll be more than happy to come back and they can have their happily ever after but shit needs fixing!
That can not be said for my situation because there’s no option of a “happily ever after” with us and if I was to leave I’m not sure that it would matter near as much, if at all but not everything is the same between our situations so I’m aware of this. I think that when I said that one answer though it might have just made more sense to her than to anyone else in the world.
I enjoyed tonight and if my situation has helped in anyway then, again, it’s worth it. I was truthful to someone that I barely know and it was all to help someone who can’t understand or comprehend the blessing that God sent to him. Sometimes, all a girl needs is some appreciation that comes from the heart.
Hope you’re having a great weekend and your homework assignment for today is to show some appreciation for someone in your life that you “can’t life without” but don’t tell them as much as you should.