Making Changes… For the Sake of Love.

Today was an interesting day. I won’t even go into the work stuff. Blah, don’t want to think about that but I will say that my boss and I (the asshole) will be competing against each other in the gallon of water a day challenge. Once I explained to him that liquor doesn’t count I think he thought that he might just not win this one.

After work though, on the way to dinner, my “arm candy” man called. I talked about him before in another post (Arm Candy Post) basically he was this hot rich dude that I would take to charity benefit things mostly because he’d donate a crap load of money if I’d ask him to. We’ve not spoken in a while but he’d called to update me on his life. He is having a baby and this is completely unexpected. I was happy for him but he’d explained that he didn’t really get along with the mother of his soon to be child. Obviously, they got on well enough.

Fighting or arguing, is passion to me. Well, it depends on who it’s with I guess but he’s just a really laid back guy and she’s apparently crazy but not his brand of crazy. So I’d asked what it was that he didn’t like. He named off a few good points but a few were pretty trivial, like he was just trying to pick out stuff he didn’t like. Then he said, “I can’t ask her to change can I?”. Hmm, good question. My response was, “Yes, depending on the issue”. Then he’d ask me what would be acceptable.

So I broke it down like this… If someone wanted me to change something about myself that was harming to me then I would do it. For instance, if they asked me to quit smoking, I would do it for a man I was serious about. But if they wanted me to change my clothes or hair or something like that, that’s just shitty. I’ve never dated a guy and said “If you’d only wear this or grow your hair out or shave your chest”. But I have said “Hey you need to stop drinking so much, doing drugs or eat better.”

There’s a line that is allowed to be crossed when you’re with someone like that. It goes beyond a friendship and into a potential partnering. Proving you’re not dating for sport, anyone you date could or should be someone that you see yourself sharing a life with. Sharing a life means they get to know the intimate details of your health problems, maybe sharing a credit card or bank account and at the very least knowing a password or two. So, yes, I went on to explain if I was serious about someone then I’d willing change whatever I needed to.

This news apparently shocked him. Which is funny since it’s the second time that I’ve said that this month and shocked someone. My friend from the northeast believes that whoever is able to “lock me down” might just be the strongest, greatest man on earth. That’s going a bid overboard and I think he’d had too much to drink when he said that but it is nice to know that someone feels that way.

We’d ended the conversation while I was out having dinner and then continued it when I was on my way home. I had basically just reiterated everything I’d said before and told him that maybe, just maybe this was his opportunity to change for the better. There was never much wrong with him, except for the fact that he was a playboy, he’d even been to the actual Playboy mansion, to prove my point. That’s the reason I never hooked up with him. He’d been around the block way too many times. Actually he never went around the same block twice for what it’s worth, except for this one.

I’m not sure I changed his mind at all or made him understand anything new but I’m hoping my assistance helped him. It’s crazy the things you’ll do for love. The changes you’ll do for love. I realized when I got home that he was the owner of one of my favorite shirts. It’s a huge Polo jeans shirt which I wear to bed and I never remembered where I’d gotten it till now. In that moment, that specific moment, I realized how sad it was that I didn’t have any real thing in my home that came from someone that I loved. I’ve always made such a point to give forgotten or left items back that I’m left with nothing of someone else’s. I mean, I have gifts from men but nothing that belongs to them that I have. For some reason that seems sad to me tonight.

Well, that was the most interesting part of my night I guess. Even with the solar eclipse tonight, there’s been no earth shattering event. I guess that’s good or not. I don’t even know anymore. It’s late. I’m going to run and then, hopefully, fall into a dream state that I won’t want to be woken from.

Hope you’re all having a great week.

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