I was talking with a new voice today at work and getting my flirt on, for a favor, and he’d asked me “What does it take to impress you?”. I give him balls for asking the question but I can only assume this came out because, even though I was flirting, I was also very aloof and completely stoic when it came to him. So, I started thinking, it’s really an easy question.
I am not impressed with money nor am I impressed with men that have only one side, which is always a sensitive side. I’m not looking for a savior or a sinner but someone in between. I’m not looking for young or old but someone in between. I’m searching for someone that can make me laugh which isn’t that easy. I’m not looking for someone who’s got the best job, nor the best car but someone who can challenge my knowledge and take me on a ride of adventure, even if we never leave the house.
I’m looking for a man that can hold his own with me, make me feel safe and important and that I can get lost in but always find my way out. He doesn’t need to entertain me every second of every day nor does he have to fill any voids that might be inside. I want someone who’s real enough to experience truth with but imaginative enough to think outside the box.
I need a man who notices the little things, like the fact that I don’t own an umbrella and probably should. I need someone who not only changes an empty roll of toilet paper but also puts it in the right direction. Apparently, that’s a skill that not all men share. I’d like a man who refills the water jug, knows where the soap is when it runs out and shares a space with me and doesn’t overwhelm it. He needs to know things, like my favorite scent, my favorite flower and knows me well enough to put together the most amazing mix CD or playlist when I’ve had a shitty day or am not feeling well.
A man who makes room for you on the couch even if he’s really into whatever he’s watching is my kind of perfect. A man who goes and gets my mail because he knows it would probably take me a month to go get it. I’d like a man to make me a watch queue on netflix because he knows I’ve never seen those movies. A man who puts extra socks on me because he knows that my feet are always effing freezing. These are all things I wish for.
They all sound simple enough right? I suppose if you find the right guy, that guy that you click with no matter what, that other stuff doesn’t matter but I guess my whole point is simplicity is perfect to me. I’ve had the diamond ring, the expensive car and the arm candy and none of that worked. It was never what I wanted. It was only what I was distracting myself with at that moment. I’m no longer looking for a distraction. I’ve had boyfriends and I have best friends but I’ve never had a best friend/boyfriend combo. I want that.
Having a year where I’ve lost a lot of friends and family makes you realize that time is not insignificant. Time is fleeting. Time is escaping us one second at a moment. Days, months, years count. You never seem to want the things that are right in front of you until they’re gone. Times isn’t something to be wasted.
These are all just the passing thoughts of finishing off another year and looking into the next. It’s not supposed to be a somber post, just a real one. I’m calling out to anyone who thinks that time is on their side, that they’ll always be a tomorrow, that you’ll always have a chance to get back something you’ve lost in the past. This is why you must be kind, always tell the ones you care for that you do and never take anything for granted.
No, I didn’t get any earth shattering news today. I’m just feeling nostalgic for things that I’ve never had in reality only in theory or dreams. But the best part of the New Year is that, to me, all things are cleansed to start anew. You can make amends. You can find something you’ve lost or someone that you’re missing. It’s all a chance or a “do-over” as I like to call it which is hopeful.
So, after the hangover wears off, after the black eyed peas have been scarfed down and after you’ve popped your 12 grapes after midnight, wipe your slate clean.
If I don’t get a chance to write tomorrow, have a happy, safe and wonderfully memorable New Years!