One of the few things that I love is space, the stars, astrology and science. One of the first things we, as a family, did when we first came over from England was go to NASA and it was fascinating. While my attention has passed more to astrology and the stars, I will always remember our autographed photos of Buzz Aldrin. They hung on our walls till the day my parents moved. Since I’m a bit moved over to the stars, when I’ve had a rough or shitty day I love to take a walk at night, look up at the stars and sometimes (in a cheesy Disney sort-a way) I wonder who’s doing the same thing somewhere else.
There’s not much of a reason that I’m telling you this now. It’s just that I did that last night. I was trying to process things and found the only solace being outside in the night sky and now it’s perfect weather to just enjoy it whether you’re contemplating anything or not.
One thing I was thinking about is that it might be possible that I give people too much space. Let me back-track. I was watching one of my friends the other day who’s got a new girlfriend. We were trying to catch up and have a nice meal but his gf would not stop texting him. She called a few times. It was annoying for me and I could tell that he was getting more than annoyed. This prompted the “space” conversation. Whenever I’ve dated someone, I can’t just be one of those people that jumps in and combines everything. The idea that, all of a sudden, we’re linked through 20 different types of social media, there’s a texting conversation that can’t be ignored for more than 10 minutes or they just become immersed in all parts of my life, scares and annoys the shit out of me.
People should have their own space. I’ve never believed that all things should be bound together once you start a relationship. I don’t and have never changed my “status”, don’t really care that someone I went to school with 20 years ago knows I’m dating someone or not and I don’t need constant validation that they are everywhere, whether I need it or not.
You all know this. I’m a huge advocate on space and personal time. I know that this is not always the case with everyone else though but two people should not morph into one, once they become a couple. They should still have time out with their own friends, have days that they don’t HAVE to speak or text and have time to themselves. Doesn’t all of that make it better when they do spend time together?
Now, on the exact opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve been guilty of doing the extreme opposite. I give people too much time and space. I don’t reach out (we all know that’s a flaw for me) and my thought process is usually, “When they’re ready, I’ll hear from them”. My closest friends know that this is who I am. It might take a great man to change that in me but my thoughts on two people becoming one once they date will never change. I don’t think that’s what should happen. I don’t believe that one person should (to quote a stupid movie) “complete” another person. I believe that a person should compliment another and this is the same as friends or lovers. We, as ourselves, are complete as one.
But, after all that being said, my feelings on the situation are not entire correct and neither is the extreme. There is a happy medium in between. But until I reach that, the people closes to me are all aware that if they want to see me, talk to me or hang out then it’s usually them who need to reach out, either because I’ll make time for them as soon as I can or it might be the one thing that pulls me out of my own head, especially when there’s been too much craziness around me. I tend to fall into a sort of solitary confinement that’s hard to pull myself out at times. Sometimes, I wish I had a superhero beacon when I fall into my black holes. The things we wish we had…. 🙂 I suppose my final frontier will be to find a man that’s strong enough to pull me outta my own head.
Those are my thoughts this morning. Hope you all have a great day.