Awkwardly horrible yet still smiling day… 

So today has had a lot of highs and lows, mostly lows, however I am not going to let any of that get me down. Someone, yet again, tried to salt my world with their lonely bitterness this morning and it made me do something that I really didn’t want to do but had too. This goes back to my post about people trying to push their shitty agendas on others because their world sucks. Blah. Some people are just assholes and I have no idea why I’ve become the recipient of their negativity.

I have been a more than kind person to a few close people in my life. This has never exhausted me nor made me regret anything I’ve done out of care but for some reason something I’ve done for one friend has obviously upset someone who had feelings for him. I think I’m pissing them off more because I’m not responding to their level of immaturity rather than engaging in it. See, I’m not a bitch but you also don’t fuck with people I care about, regardless of where we are with each other.

I really don’t understand why people choose to infect their bad moods, self-loathing or shitty disposition on other humans. When I’m in a bad mood, I’d rather shut myself away and not pass that on to anyone else. Unless I’m at work, then I usually take it out on my boss. I’d never say this to anyone but this asshole’s words affected me to the point of tears, for a third time and so I’m pretty sure I’ve made things so they can’t anymore. I teared. I fixed it. I moved on. After having two workout sessions today, seeing my friend’s beautiful baby girl and writing a bit, I feel so much better.

I think I want to start packing my stuff this weekend. My move date will come way too quickly and I have lots of stuff. The good thing is if I start now then I might be done in time 🙂 Plus I’d like to sell some stuff for extra cash, stuff I never use anyway. Then I have very early plans all weekend which is weird because I don’t do early but it’ll give me time to get a good nights rest? Who am I kidding, I’ll probably got to bed late all weekend. This is the time of year when all the concerts, charity events and parties are many. It’ll be the time to dress up, look pretty and have fun. I’m actually looking forward to them this year.

I spoke to my friend who lives in the northeast this week and he’s planning on coming here for Thanksgiving. I miss his face so that should be fun as well. Aside from all of that today ended with a cash bonus somehow and tickets to a new winter festival in town. I will miss the perks of this job for sure although I’m pretty sure I’ll still be able to get them when I’m gone. Sixteen years is a long time to work somewhere and knowing the owner for almost 20 years will help as well.

On my last note of today, I finally went to my mailbox (which I never do) and found a letter. I have no idea who the letter was from but it was very sweet and you all know how I feel about getting a hand written letter. This would be out of my normal “strange” but it’s not. I’ve said before that weird things happen to me all the time. For years I’ve gotten an anonymous gift on Valentine’s Day. No clue who those were from. I’d been given all the 50 shades of shit books left, gift wrapped on my door step, teddy bears, flowers… It’s all been a strange mystery but I’m not that inquisitive. I might actually be one of the lease noisy people ever. My thought was, “If I’m supposed to know, then I will. If not, then it’s none of my business”. You all know how much of a private person I am already so this just goes with the flow.

I’m going to go do one final workout, get ready for bed and watch a scary movie before sleeping. Have a great night.



2 responses to “Awkwardly horrible yet still smiling day… 

  1. Looks like you had all sorts of us and down in one day. I feel we are responsible for our actions but can’t help what people think because it’s their perception. Anyway have a good day.

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