Feeling like a drunk monkey without the alcohol…

I’m sitting here and my A.D.D. has kicked into high speed. I’ve got the TV on, watching some crap I’m sure I’ve seen before, with my iPad in my lap doing stuff on there, my iPhone next to me replying to people in between phone conversations and typing my post for tonight. I guess you could say I’m trying to keep my mind busy.

I’ve had a weird week. I sit here, alone (yet not lonely) mid-week and the most exciting part of my week is after my workouts, after my dinners out, after parties, to just put on my Flashdance shirt and relax completely soberingly sober. I thought about having a glass of wine but decided against it. I’m not one to drink alone. Part of my weird week is because I’ve been asked out three times this week by all different guys and I have absolutely no interest in any of them. I’m so over this dating crap.

I’m much more interested in my workout challenge that’s going pretty well so far. What I have learned though is that I have the balance of a drunk monkey. I’d love to be someone who’s awesome at yoga but the truth is, I have no effing balance what-so-ever. I honestly don’t know how I became a cheerleader or how I was ever in dance. Somewhere along the way my equilibrium has gotten twisted or something. So, I’m doing these challenges and thanking the man upstairs that I’m doing them alone because otherwise I’d look like an idiot to any other human. I’m slightly embarrassed for myself. BUT I’m trying which is what they’re all about.

The challenge consists of 2 miles a day and it’s been three days but I’ve already almost done ten miles. I’m excited about that and the fact that I’ve still had a social life the whole time too. In years past, I’ve worked so late that it’s either a workout day or a go eff off day but never both. Now, I’ve decided that I’m not working for the man past five o’clock anymore. In fact, as of 5:01 it’s my time! By then there’s a me shaped hole in the front door cause I can’t leave fast enough. Then I’ve been coming home, changing, working out, then going out. Granted it’s only been three days but I’m happy about it so far.

My family has been really up my ass about going to visit them. They’re only 2/3 hours away but oh I hate that drive, especially alone. It’s so boring and by the time I leave work I’m so not in the mood for that but I do know that’s something I need to do sooner than later. I’d gotten tickets to the ACL festival there but that didn’t work out as planned 😦 so I’m going to have to sell them or find someone that can take off three days. There’s some really great bands there too and of course I miss my little niece. She’s such a tiny adult it’s so weird. I really should get or have one of those little tiny adults soon or a puppy. I’d much rather have a kid though.

I’m in a bit of a weird mood tonight as you can tell. My mind is everywhere and I have to keep checking to see if there’s a full moon out. Somethings happening up there in the stars. That’s all I do know. I’m not sure if it’s for the good or bad but somethings brewing. It’s it too late to think about taking my Friday afternoon nap? I feel like my thoughts are exhausting me right now. They’re jumping from one thing to another, from one person to another. I am obviously feeling much better after last weekend and the shitty shit I had to deal with. Still not quite 100 percent but getting there or as close to it as I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure my sleeping pill is no where close to kicking in and even though it’s almost 11:00 I have a strange desire to go take a walk outside. Probably not the best idea but I seem to have some residual energy that needs to find it’s way out of me soon.

I’m still not entirely sure that I’m not bipolar or a bit crazy. I really am all over the place right now, like I’ve had too much coffee but I know that’s not it. Hell, I have no idea. I am just happy I’m not crying or in pain in this very moment. I am feeling quirky though. We’ll see where this mood leads me tonight… Good night 🙂

This will probably be one of those posts I read later and think “WTF!”. I promise you though I’m mind numbingly sober right now. Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe I’m just trying to keep my mind of other things or people.

drunk monkey


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