The weird and wonderfully strange rarities in life. I like the strange and the weird and that’s good because all that is usually attracted to me in some form or fashion. Whether this be in people or in situations, I find myself being drawn to the different. This has always been the opposite of the types of men I usually date because they’re all stupid and rich and normally boring but that’s not what I’m attracted to.
I’d just had a conversation with someone who described me as quirky, humorously witty and unknowingly sexy. I probably should have been a bit humble but I wasn’t and told him that I appreciated him more for noticing all the right things. This conversation wasn’t really going any place for me because I was quickly bored. After that I went to leave but for some reason decided to go through notes from a future reading I’d had done not that long ago.
Most of the time, when I get these new age entertainment readings I usually forget everything that was said but this is the one that’s been spot on for a long time now. The one that said it would bring all this luck and happiness to myself and another if we were to be together. I went back through all their stuff and everything that’s happened in the last few months was totally predicted, for both of us. I also know the “outcome” of some bad luck but only if “certain things happen” blah. I like and hate this because as much as you can give it as much or as little merit as you want, this truth of what’s happened so far can not be denied. There’s a certain point where coincidence doesn’t really apply anymore. There is actually a sort of pseudoscience to all this astrology and other new age practices. My ex was part Cherokee Indian and he really believed in all these things. He’d done a peyote sweat thing, knew his spirit animal and got his readings done by gypsies.
Then, not too long ago, I mean a female fifth generation Shaman who’s also a Catholic. We’ve had many conversations about both of these ideas conflicting with one another. She’s pretty amazing and gift and strangely has also had the same stuff to say as what I’d already heard. At this point, it’s about asking the same question, getting told the answer is always the same but never being happy with it… or something like that.
So basically my life is like this, I know what I want to happen, I know what is supposed to happen and I know what should happen to make two people very happy and very lucky but since I don’t actually believe in that future I try to fight it all the time. It’s as if I’m pushing then pulling my way through a perceived future that feels like it’s no longer in my hands because all the fighting that I’m doing brings me back to the same person every. single. time. I’ve tried to purge this person. I’ve tried to just go about my day but somehow something pulls us back. Just like the fact that we were pulled back into each others lives after 20 plus years. Effing weird, is my life most of the time. Also, how do you tell someone that doesn’t believe in this stuff, “Hey your life sucks because of this reason and here’s how you fix it.” Especially when they don’t want that future anyway. You’d assume that enough history that’s been predicted and proven would but no. Not to some.
I feel like I need to have a very large martini for dinner. I usually never feel like that.
Hope you are all having a great day and if any of you go have a drink, have an extra one for me as well. Thanks.
Choices By: Nero