I’ve always thought these were kind of fun and it makes it so I don’t have to think that hard. I’m so tired of thinking or over-thinking I should say. Over the course of having this site, each time I start fresh, I usually always get new questions. Most I’ll email back but some, especially if I get asked the same question a few times, I’ll just post about them. So that is tonight’s post. Feel free to ask anything you like. It’s easy when we don’t really know each other.
1 When did you start blogging or writing and why? I think I’ve had this site for five maybe six years. I think I initially wanted to actually make a difference but now it just seems to be an online journal. I’ve been writing my whole life though. Poems, short stories, business plans. I’ve always like the process. I’m much more a fan of the written word but leaving trails of thoughts around my home never really appealed to me. If you look in the deepest, darkest corners of where I live you’ll find some really weird shit I’m sure.
2 Last movie you’ve watched? Okay, I was called out earlier this month for not really being a true Brit because I’d never seen all the Harry Potter movies. I was given them as a gift but like many movies in my home, I’d never watched them so I finally did. Between Friday through Monday I watched all eight movies. They weren’t bad. I feel my secretly hidden British accent coming out more with each and every movie. This is the great part about a break-up. You have an excuse to hunker down in your own space and watch whatever you want.
3 Is there any music that you don’t like? What’s your favorite? I like all music. I have everything from rock, pop, new age, country, rap, Spanish. I am not hardcore into rap or country but I can appreciate the talent. My absolute favorite really depends on the mood. When I’m trying to relax in a bath I love listening to anything with a violin, classical or meditation music. When I’m pissed I like Disturbed, In This Moment or something trashingly hardcore. When I’m sad, I’ll through out a melancholy mix of acoustic or indie.
4 Can you name all the concerts you’ve seen? Probably not. I’m sure my memory will fail me but there goes… Tori Amos, Dave Matthews, Sting, Elton John, Bastille, Blue October, 30 Foot Fall, Pennywise, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Amos Lee, Arcade Fire, Nine Inch Nails, Marylin Manson, Bush, No Doubt, Goo Goo Dolls, Arctic Monkeys, Foo Fighters, Peter Murphy, Ministry, Beck, Black Crows, The Black Keys, Boy & Bear, Bright Eyes, Clint Black, Citizen Cope, Lords of Acid, Counting Crows, The Cranberries, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Daft Punk, M83, Florence and the Machines, Deadmau5, Sarah McLaughlin, Garbage, Garth Brooks, George Clinton, Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, Gipsy Kings… Okay I just made it through the first part of my iTunes and I can’t go on… Let’s just say there was a lot! I’m pretty sure I’m missing some big ones too.
5 Biggest lessons you’ve learn? I’ve learned that you can’t replace people with others and get the same effect. I’ve learned that a drunk truth confession is better than 100 sober lies. I’ve learned that what you ask God for, he had a funny way of giving that to you. I’ve learned that there is always a chance for forgiveness and second chances. I’ve learned that self worth isn’t about “likes, tags, posts, emoticons, it’s about being there, in the moment for each chance you get. I’ve learned that even though they days seem long that life is short and you shouldn’t always assume that that opportunity, that person or that experience will always be there. I’ve learn to always repay my debts whether they be financially or otherwise and lastly I’ve learned to never take anyone for granted, EVER.
6 What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a lawyer, more than anything. I’d read all these books, researched cases and even when an summer interned with a friend of my parents but due to a very long story (which I won’t get into) I wasn’t able to go to the school that I wanted to. I still believe that I’m still growing up though so I could change this at any moment.
7 What annoys you the most? I’m going to sound like a broken record with some of these but here goes… I HATE when people don’t give you the thank you wave after you’ve let them in traffic. It annoys me when people don’t clean up after themselves. I hate excuses. I hate blatant disrespect. I don’t like shouting. People who assume blame on others to take it off themselves annoy me. I hate people invading my personal space before I’ve even learned their name. That’s enough of that for now.
8 What things do you love? I love mix CD’s or flash drives. I love the rain. I like naps on Saturday afternoons especially when it rains. I love surprises. I love drunk show-ups after midnight. I’m a real fan of kissing, even when it doesn’t lead to anything else. I love a mans forearm, smooth chest and eyes that can’t be taken off you or when they’ve watching you when you least expect it. I love being woken up to freshly brewed coffee. I love that first sip of water after you’ve just workout like a crazy person and the soreness you feel the next day which reminds you you’ve done something. I love the beach and orchids (of course) and (of course) the color blue and how it looks good on a man. There’s so much more than that.
9 What do you hope to accomplish in the next five years? Well, first, I hope to still be breathing. I’d like to say the standard, “have a husband and family” but we see how that’s worked out so far. I’d like to be healthier and happier but I don’t really know anymore. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
10 What happened with all the proposals? Why’d you say no? This question I got a lot and I’m not sure they’re all easy answers but here goes. The first two proposals I was young and at least smart enough to know that neither were any good for me. I think that in both cases we just clicked really well and I wasn’t a crazy girl and it didn’t matter much where they were or what they were doing when we weren’t together. I’m the girl that doesn’t ask questions. The third wasn’t about love at all. It was about possession. He was a trust fund baby and had everything he wanted. I wasn’t that spectacular (don’t get me wrong, I think I’m awesome) but because I tend to give off this “You’ll never have me” persona (that goes for the soul and mind, less the body) his entitled self thought that he would mark his territory. I was at a very strange place in my life where drugs, sex and rock n roll were the most important things so I’d actually said yes for about five minutes. Then I don’t him I just wasn’t comfortable with him and it wouldn’t work. We’d broken up but during September 11th he’d gone through a lot of stuff. He lost family and was very distraught so he ended up given the ring to me as a thank you. That was a weird reminder. Then, the fourth was my ex that I lost in a car accident this year. I’d written about that before but that didn’t feel right either. This last time, with my ex, I’d always told him that I wasn’t serious about him and that it wouldn’t be anything but fun but he took things way too fast and I just never really felt comfortable with him either.
I’ve not had great luck in the love department. I’ve loved two men unconditionally but none of the one above were those two. My dreams, lately, have been vivid exerts from a chapter in my life that’s not been written yet. I do believe everything happens for a reason and I believe in honesty with myself and the men I’ve dated. If I don’t see a future then I’ll tell them but there again is fate, waiting anxiously for you to move in one direction so something out of no where can be thrown your way. I don’t know, maybe life is really like one of those movies and that boy that you fought with as a child, the one that pulled your pig-tails and pushed you down maybe that’s the one you meet in a bar years later and that’s the one who you end up with, although I never had a childhood boy like that. We shall see.
I’m feeling better than I was earlier though, which is good. I hope this feelings lasts. Hope you’re all having a great day and week. Good Night!